The Dog Doesn’t Die

When I buy a piece of furniture that requires some assembly, I want instructions I can understand. So I was quite pleased with the instructions for assembling my new bed frame. However — and of course there is a “however” — the person charged with writing those instructions must have been so absorbed in his or her mission of ensuring clarity that spelling fell by the wayside. How else would one explain the consistent use of “appart”?

Just for the record, I am amused, not outraged.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/carolquiz,0,4932856.triviaquiz

All I want for Christmas is spell check.

Or did the Chicago Tribune — the Chicago Tribune, people! — unilaterally replace “Noel” with “Nowell”?

I’m all for phonics. I learned how to read and spell that way, after all. But we all know there are words that are spelled a bit differently from the way they sound, especially if we’re mispronouncing them in the first place.

For example, I’m listening to Christmas music on an Internet radio station that has on its playlist the following: Parade of the Wooden Solgiers.

No. No, no, no, a thousand times no. Just … no.