Does the Dog Die? A Brief Review of The Hakawati, by Rabih Alameddine

This brilliant book, written in the spiralling framework we know from 1001 Arabian Nights, combines the story of a modern-day Lebanese family with classic Middle Eastern stories about the Crusades, evil genies, and Arab tribes. It’s also long, and I think it’s rather complex for a book group discussion, but I loved it and can’t recommend it highly enough.

Osama, the narrator of the contemporary story, has returned to Beirut from his high-tech job in California in order to be present at the death of his father. As he tells us about his complex family, he returns again and again to stories told first by his grandfather, who was a storyteller by profession, also known as a hakawati.

There are many threads, weaving in and out like a ball of yarn after a cat attack, or a pot of spaghetti fallen to the floor. Among the most outstanding were those of Majnoun, Layl, and a coterie of imps; the slave prince Baybars and his allies Layla and Othman; and Osama’s own family. Alameddine thoroughly covers the diversity of the Arab world, in religion, attitude, accomplishment, history, and culture. Especially at this time when the prevailing tendency is to pigeonhole people into tight little niches, Alameddine proves again and again that such attempts are not only wrong but also, for an honest person, impossible.

Animal lovers will find hero animals as well as disturbing scenes. A lamb is slaughtered rather graphically, trained pigeons battled each other to the death at the direction of their human masters, the genius horse Al-Awwar becomes a general and warrior who leads his fellow equines and their human cargo to victory in battle after battle, and a range of lesser situations are scattered throughout the book. Birds in general don’t fare well in Alameddine’s tale, so I am going to declare this book UNSAFE FOR BIRD LOVERS (you know who you are!) but MOSTLY SAFE for animal lovers who can get past that.

Does the Dog Die? A Brief Review of The Scenic Route, by Binnie Kirshenbaum

Floating around on the Internet are Sex and the City quizzes that supposedly tell you which of the four female friends you are most like. Sylvia Landsman, protagonist of The Scenic Route, would have no use for such a quiz, as she is clearly a Miranda. In case you never watched the series, Miranda often came across as emotionally cold, like she couldn’t break down the internal barriers to be nice to someone even when she wanted to be. She was also emotionally passive, often accepting the people who came into her life and not considering that she had the right to choose them or in any way shape them. That’s Sylvia.

Sylvia falls in with people. She fell in with her husband, who was really just a friend. And when she heads to Europe after losing her job, she falls in with Henry, a married man with a rich wife. They travel around Europe together, seeing the sights, making love, eating well, and staying in 5-star hotels. And to the extent she can feel anything, Sylvia sort of falls in love, although it seemed like this was something she decided rather than felt. Henry sort of falls in love, too, but I was never sure who he thought he’d fallen for.

There are many sins of omission in this tale, and there are many strangely cold people, including Sylvia. Bud did she ever have a chance to be different? I don’t think so. Sylvia is entertaining — with her family background and childhood, she has lots of stories. Her mother was awful, her brother is a jerk, and Sylvia spent her childhood trying to not fall into a well of sadness.

She also has a friend back home who shows every sign of raging manic-depression. That friendship never quite made sense to me; I wasn’t sure what Sylvia got out of it, or what Ruby saw in her. Then again, Sylvia is passive, so it makes sense on that level.

A protagonist who’s funny and wry and who also holds herself back is a tricky thing for an author to write. Kirshenbaum did a great job, and I’m glad to have discovered her. I spent a lot of time thinking about this book after I’d read it, and that doesn’t happen very often. I definitely recommend it.

As for violence to animals, there is some. There is a series of childhood incidents caused by one of those little bastards destined to be a serial killer as an adult. But the violence is entirely skippable. Stop reading on page 164, where it says “Among the dead:” and resume reading on page 167, the last line, where it says “It’s as if with death comes instantaneous absolution.” You’re good to go from there.

Otherwise, there are a few unpleasant images. A family pet is euthanized due to illness, there are a couple of bad fish-related incidents, and a few other disturbing moments. If you don’t like to read about sad things happening to animals, you can probably manage this book, but I would be cautious and skip the sections I noted above. Nonetheless, I am declaring this book PARTLY UNSAFE for animal lovers.

Does the Dog Die? A Brief Review of The Third Angel, by Alice Hoffman

I would hesitate to call myself an Alice Hoffman fan, because my reactions to her books have varied quite a lot. But The Third Angel came highly recommended, and so here we are.

This is the typical Alice Hoffman in that it seems to have been crafted by an expert — beautifully written, in other words. I also loved the structure of this book, written in three segments that can be read in any order with a few characters that overlap in surprising ways. I do think reverse chronological order is the best option, and that’s the way the book is laid out. This was a sad book about love and loss, but I liked that the three protagonists move on with grace and compassion.

The first story, set in 1999, is about Maddy, who falls for her sister’s fiance, Paul. But Paul has darker secrets than his unfaithfulness, and Maddy finds herself allied with Paul and her sister in ways she couldn’t have anticipated. Going back to Freida, in 1966, we find a smart, rebellious, and heartbreaking young woman with a conscience. I really can’t say any more than that. Finally, in 1952, the protagonist is a child named Lucy. And Lucy bears witness to a tragedy, for which she blames herself. This will send you flipping to the beginning of the book, but Hoffman spares us from the need to reread the entire thing just to figure out what it was we read the first time. Lucy’s life improves in an improbable way, but this is fiction written by a master, and we will allow Hoffman a few improbabilities here and there. I am recommending this book.

The purpose of this blog is to tell those who don’t want to read about animal violence or neglect whether they can read certain books. Despite a few unhappy moments, this book is SAFE for animal lovers. Animals of note include a book-within-a-book heron, and a rabbit that lives in a hotel.

Does the Dog Die? A Brief Review of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

First up, I have two very strong objections to this book, a rewrite of Jane Austen’s classic Pride and Prejudice into a rather juvenile goof.

Objection #1: Everyone knows Mr. Darcy is a werewolf. Come on, Seth. You screwed this up big time. If you were going to do this, you could have at least done it right. And now I’m to understand that someone else has written Sense and Sensibilities and Sea Monsters? No, no, no, a thousand times no! Here are the correct match-ups of Austen and monsters:

• Pride and Prejudice and Werewolves
• Emma and Zombies
• Sense and Sensibility and Shapeshifters
• Persuasion and Sea Monsters
• Northanger Abbey and Vampires
• Mansfield Park and Witches

Get it right, people!

Objection #2: Seth over-edited the beginning. Granted, Austen often starts slow, but in the early pages, Mr. Darcy makes these weird comments that make me think, “who is this guy, how did he get here, and why is he sitting around spouting random, out-of-context, rude remarks?” Fortunately, this is a temporary problem, and anyone familiar with Austen’s original story will be able to fill in the blanks. But still … the guy isn’t given his due as a werewolf, and then he’s also the weirdo in the corner who blathers autistically? Not right, Seth!

These two objections aside, this is a wonderful book. I loved it, I laughed at it, and I recommend it. Only a prig wouldn’t enjoy it. In fact, it was recommended by a woman I consider to be one of the most devoted and knowledgeable Jane Austen scholars not employed by a university. So buy it. Make Seth rich and further his career. The fact that he mucked up Darcy’s werewolfishness becomes a detail once you get into the story.

And as this blog exists for the purpose of warning people about books in which animals are harmed or neglected or otherwise meet bad ends, I have to get serious. There are lots of horses, and since they are often the key to people escaping the zombies, they are worried about and protected. That’s not to say there’s never horse on the menu in Zombieland, but it’s referenced, not shown. There are also deer, who are dear to the Bennet girls. They’re not harmed, either. So this book is SAFE for animal lovers.

And Darcy is a werewolf, dammit!

Does the Dog Die? A Brief Review of Autobiography of a Fat Bride, by Laurie Notaro

I’m trying to remember which friend said she loved Laurie Notaro. This is driving me crazy.

And Laurie Notaro has potential to drive a person crazy. She is hilarious and observant, but I think if I ran into her on my annual pilgrimage to Phoenix, I’d say “great book, Laurie” and leave it at that. She’s intense. And that’s not a criticism, but it’s something to keep in mind while reading this book. It’s not a sit-down-and-read-it-all-Saturday-afternoon book, it’s more of a keep-in-your-purse-and-read-a-few-pages-at-a-time-while-in-line book. And it really does lend itself to short spurts of reading, because it’s written as a series of 2 to 6 page essays.

Laurie has an impossible mother, a mind-boggling grandma, a sweet but very languid husband, weird neighbors, sisters (and thanks again to my brothers for being boys instead girls), pets, a job, and a body that might qualify her to be a plus-size model were she so inspired.

At her wedding reception, she ejected the videographer who thought the entire event had been planned just so he could play at being dictator. That alone is reason to love her. And how can you not giggle at someone who writes: “it looks like Stevie Wonder and Bo Derek jumped you in an alley and gang-braided you”? On the other hand, there were a few essays that did not enrich my life, to put it mildly. But most were fun. I would recommend this to anyone except stick-in-the-mud types. You know who you are.

As for animals, there are a very few unpleasant images, but nothing that’s likely to stay with you. And I don’t believe she really forgot to feed her dog – first, dogs don’t let you forget that, and second, she exaggerates so much that I believe she said that for effect. Still, Notaro is outrageous for effect, and the animals fall into her line of sight occasionally. I’m going to declare this book SAFE for animal lovers, but promise not to take her literally, okay?

Does the Dog Die? A Brief Review of Telex from Cuba, by Rachel Kushner

My first “real” job out of college was working as a white-collar minion for United Fruit, back when they were based in Boston. Of course, this was long after the company had been expelled from Cuba in the late 1950s, but I knew they had a dark and difficult past. One of the things I love about Telex from Cuba is how it tells that very story. Kushner writes with such skill and grace that it’s almost impossible to believe that this is a first novel.

Told from multiple points of view — including through the eyes of a few children, which I normally don’t like but which works well here — Telex begins by slowly laying out the background of the privileged few, who were white, American, and often brutal. Compassion was not a value in the company towns of Preston and Nicaro. Kushner then layers on the stories of the workers, who were essentially slaves, and the rebels, along with some of those operating along the sides. The latter include an unethical Frenchman and an erotic dancer. Add Batista, the Castro brothers, and grave doubts about those introduced earlier, and you have a roiling, boiling tale of pain, anger, and revolution.

Most of us only know Cuba as this strange and forbidden island to the south of the United States. Kushner offers a vivid and exciting history lesson that adds many necessary dimensions. I recommend this book very highly, with one caveat.

And here is the caveat: one of the primary purposes of this blog is to screen books for people who can’t stand to read about violence to animals, sad animal scenes, etc. If violence against animals bothers you so much that it’s a criteria in choosing what and what not to read, then you can’t read this book. It is COMPLETELY UNSAFE for animal lovers. I found it quite disturbing in that regard, and there’s so much of it that I can’t isolate pages to skip or otherwise give advice that might make it readable for animal lovers.  Birds, pigs, monkeys, you name it, the species probably does very poorly in this book. I loved Kushner’s writing and, especially, storytelling abilities. And I hope she dials back the animal violence and neglect in future efforts.

Does the Dog Die? A Brief Review of Behind the Scenes at the Museum, by Kate Atkinson

My friend Dana gave me this book, saying it was “depressing” and adding that you have to read the last 10-15 pages for it to all come together. I’m going to disagree with Dana this time – for me, Ruby, the chirpy, young narrator, single-handedly keeps Behind the Scenes at the Museum from being depressing. I found a lot of comedy in this book despite the sad and tragic moments, and Ruby is one of the most endearing characters I’ve ever encountered. This is a well-told, intriguing tale of a young girl trying to find out just who she is and how her family history has molded herself and those around her. Her personal history is the Museum of the title, and it’s overflowing. The various mysteries of the book are all eventually explained, but if you are one of these people who can’t stand not knowing, go ahead and flip to the end. I’ll just recommend that you delay that for as long as you possibly can. I made it about halfway through the book before I succumbed.

Descended from a long line of unloved daughters who became bitter, unloving mothers, Ruby has a bitter, unloving mother of her own, Bunty. And Bunty was raised by the bitter and unloving Nell, who was raised by the bitter and unloving Rachel despite being the biological daughter of sad Alicia. These women and their sisters fall for the wrong men, bear children in and out of wedlock, and otherwise live grim, despairing lives. Except … each has a chance to for better, or at least different, lives. That chance is often squandered or snatched away from them in a moment. Sometimes, that moment involves a war. Sometimes, things just go wrong because life is messy. Ruby’s valiant effort to make some sense of life’s messiness and break the pattern, despite some danger of falling into it herself, is only a small part of the plot.

There are mysteries, as I noted above, most of which involve Ruby and her sisters. When your narrator begins with her own conception and doesn’t go much beyond her 16^th birthday, the perspective can be skewed. In Ruby’s case, it’s very skewed. Yet she remains ever the optimist, believing that she is lovable despite the many cold shoulders she encounters at home. I, for one, love Ruby. And it becomes clear that Bunty, a miserable wretch of a mother, has some fight in her, too.

Did I mention that this book is set in the UK? And that Kate Atkinson is possibly the first British author I’ve ever read who didn’t mention London?

 Anyway, I am very sad to say that this book is UNSAFE for animal lovers. There are lots of animal deaths. One of the male characters is in charge of dog messengers used on the front lines in WWI, for example. His experiences are extremely sad and disturbing. Ruby’s family lives upstairs from a pet shop. That’s also extremely sad. Bunty does something vile to a pet (who ends up being rescued). And there are other incidents. If it really disturbs you to read about bad things happening to animals, you don’t want to read this book. Otherwise, if you can get past that, I’m recommending it.

Vacation Part Six: Yellowstone Days 3 and 4

Let’s get the big disappointment out of the way. When Mom visited Yellowstone in 1985, and when Dave and I visited in 1998, one of the most beautiful parts of the park was the Minerva Terrace at Mammoth Hot Springs, which had these beautiful layered pools. But when we visited this time, these pools were all dry. It was really sad, even though the water has apparently bubbled up elsewhere.

So we drove on to the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone, which provided this shot of the Yellowstone River and its falls:

 

Then we were off to visit the larger part of Norris Hot Springs. Here are some photos, including one of Mom and her trekking pole:

The little geyser below is called Whirligig. I remember watching it for a very long time when we visited in 1998 — it just doesn’t stop:

Then, on Day 4, my camera, which had been acting increasingly flaky, started blurring things. We saw — and I took photos of — elk, pronghorn antelope, mountain goats, bison, and other animals. They were all blurred. I don’t take blurry pictures. I’ll go years without a blur. Then all of a sudden, it’s all blurred. So I’m going to be getting a new camera, and I don’t have much usable from Day 4. But we took a 2.3 mile hike along a portion of Yellowstone Lake, and I do have a couple of photos of that. First is a submerged boardwalk! Yes, there was a warning sign at the beginning of the trail. I still find this amusing.

Mom took this one of me and Dave:

The rest of the photos from the hike are blurry, which is too bad because there are some gorgeous mountains on the other side of the lake.

Years ago I realized that I was perfectly capable of viewing an entire vacation through a camera lens, and resolved not to. The camera breakdown on this trip makes me glad I adopted that approach, because I had a great time with Dave and my mom. I’m glad we did it. Thanks, Dave and Mom.

Next up, a return to book reviews.

Goldilocks and the Three Cousins — Vacation Part Two: Utah and Idaho

Some family history for context: Mom’s younger brother, Ross, married his high school sweetheart, Joyce, when they were both 18. This was back in the 1950s, when such things were closer to the norm. After a few years, Ross and Joyce had a baby, then moved from their hometown in Illinois to Colorado, where they had two more babies. Then they moved to Idaho, the kids grew up, Ross tragically died of cancer in his late 40s, Joyce remarried a nice guy named Sam, the kids married, at least one of the kids divorced and remarried, they all converted from Catholicism to Mormonism, they all had a bunch of children, two now have grandchildren or step-grandchildren, and they all stayed in Idaho. The last I saw of them was in Colorado, when we were all children. Mom stayed in touch with Joyce, however, so when we began planning this trip, a visit to Joyce, Sam, and the Idaho cousins became part of the itinerary.

I wasn’t sure how this was going to go down. I even fretted about it, because I that’s one of the things I do best — fret. But realistically, I figured we’d end up somewhere between a disaster and a fairy tale. It was closer to a fairy tale: Goldilocks and the Three Bears, to be specific. Cousin #1 was too perfect, Cousin #2 was too … something, and Cousin #3 was just right! The cousins are aligned by the order in which we visited them, which is not birth order.

However, first we visited Joyce and Sam. As you may recall from the previous post, Dave and I arrived hellishly late and Joyce had to meet Mom at the airport. So they had a nice morning reconnecting and talking about my late Uncle Ross and bonding and all that, while Dave and I tried to recover from our travel ordeal. We then drove from Salt Lake City to Sam and Joyce’s home close to the Utah/Idaho border, and officially began the “visiting relatives” portion of the trip. I can’t say enough good things about Sam and Joyce as hosts. They were wonderfully generous and cordial. Sam is incredibly easy to get along with, and Joyce fell all over herself trying to make us feel at home.

Then it was off to visit Cousin #1 in Idaho Falls. I have pictures, but there were major camera issues during this trip and so I do not have access to those pictures yet. They’ll be posted eventually, although I don’t post pictures of minor children, so it will just be the adults. So why did I deem Cousin #1 “too perfect”? That’s said with quite a bit of admiration, but also a sense that he’s not someone I’d hang out with if we lived in the same city. Different styles, different values, different modes of being. He’s a good guy, I like his wife, I’m sure the 5 boys — 4 of whom are 8 or younger — will grow up to be delightful young men, etc., etc. But really, their house is astonishingly neat and clean with no household help and all those children. This is mind-boggling. There’s a lot of regimentation in their home, which I suppose is necessary with that many children. Also, Cousin #1 gets Masters degrees as a sort of hobby, and his wife takes Serious Classes. I admire this to no end. They are like Vulcans. And I am no Vulcan. We had a lovely visit, we ate pizza, and I left hoping that one of the other two cousins would be from my planet.

Cousin #2 is from my planet, but we don’t speak the same language. We visited her the next day. She lives in a modular home (used to be called trailers, but they really are modular homes) on a vast ranch with her husband and a few of their children. Two of her sons live in a house that the rest of the family abandoned due to sewer issues, but they come by each night for dinner. And a married daughter with children lives a short distance away. There are many dogs, some of which are “indoor” dogs and some of which are “outdoor” dogs. The younger daughter is 18 and in a 2-year program that will give her some kind of certificate deeming her beyond great with horses. She loves it, and hopes to work on a dude ranch some day handling the horses, possibly in Colorado. Dave and I liked her best, which seemed to throw her because she apparently gets lost in the shuffle and has been reportedly quite active doing the teenage-rebellion thing against her parents. Anyway, I asked her how many horses her immediate family owns, and it’s something like 20. But each horse is owned by an individual instead of there being “family horses.” So her mom has 3, she has 5, one brother has 2, another has 3, etc., up to about 20 total. Cousin #2’s son-in-law hand-builds awesome furniture out of rough-hewn cedar. There will be pictures, I promise.

Then it was off to visit Cousin #3, who was my favorite. He’s the one I’d like to get together with in the future, and he might be coming here in the fall, which would be great! His wife is funny and a bit sarcastic, so I could see bonding with her if I had the chance to get to know them better. He shares my love of cooking and made dinner using cast iron cookware, which is something I’ve gotten into lately. Their house was cozy (“just right”), the one son we met was independent without being annoyingly rebellious (“just right”), and we talked about our lives after dinner without it feeling like an interview with a stranger (“just right”). I wouldn’t exactly call this guy “Baby Bear,” but he matched my “Goldilocks” better than the other two.

Then it was off to Jackson, WY, and the Grand Tetons. That will be the next blog entry, some time early next week. I may even have recovered some of the pictures by then.

(Very) Odds and Ends

It’s another link day — cats, cooking, and common sense healthcare.

First, let’s look at the cats. Specifically, let’s look at 1,000 pictures of cats. Some of these animals are absolutely gorgeous.

As for cooking, a question that comes up now and then — and especially now, in the shaky economy– is whether certain items we consider panty staples are cheaper to make at home than to buy at the grocery store. An article on slate tells us one woman’s experience making bagels, cream cheese, yogurt, jam, crackers, and granola. She evaluates not just cost, but taste. The results might not be what you expect. I know I was surprised by one item in particular.

Finally, there’s common sense in health care, a hot topic these days with our devastatingly expensive “system” and the various thoughts on how to address it. This satire starring Fred Willard gets right to the point.